


Life is a Series of Moments

by Valanaria



Series: Life Is a Series of Moments [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Date Night, Dorks in Love, Fluff, M/M, Nightmares, Nipple Play, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Steve Rogers Feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-07-19 07:44:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7352188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valanaria/pseuds/Valanaria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Second part to When It's Time. Includes the story Date Night. I decided to turn this into a multi-chapter slices-of-life story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Second Date

For Steve and Bucky’s second date, they decided to stay in, watch a movie, and order dinner. Steve spent the entire afternoon nervously changing his clothes and realized that most of his clothing looked like they belonged to someone’s grandfather. He also realized he had no idea how to put together a stylish outfit. “This is ridiculous! It’s just Bucky.” He lectured himself when he had just a little over an hour left before he had to go over to Bucky’s. The truth was, he was nervous, and excited, and he wanted everything to go perfectly. He felt like there were butterflies swarming in his stomach and he realized that he honestly couldn’t wait to see Bucky again.  He finally understood what people meant when they said that because he’d never actually felt it before. The world felt brighter and different and everything was upside down and it was the most amazing feeling of Steve’s life, but he could do without the nerves.

He picked up his phone and called Natasha. He was pretty sure she was home, at least he hoped she was.

“Hey Cap, don’t you have a date tonight?” Natasha answered with amusement in her tone.

“Yeah, I just… I have no idea what to bring over. I mean, I don’t think he’s the flowers type.” Steve sighed as he flopped down on his couch.

“He’s your best friend so I think you’d know him better than me, but I do think you’re right. He might try and kick your ass if you bring him flowers.” Natasha said and Steve could hear the laughter in her voice. “Why do you have to bring anything?”

“Because! I…I just do! I can’t show up empty handed, that’s just rude, isn’t it?” Steve asked with a sigh. “Look, I just really don’t want to screw this up.”

“Really Rogers? You don’t know anything about women OR men!” Natasha said, sounding a little astonished. “You can call out battle strategy on the field like you’re reading from a goddamn manual but you have no idea how to date.”

Steve sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. “I guess some things just come easier to me than others. Look, I gotta be there in about an hour and… I don’t know what to do!”

“Steve, you’re psyching yourself out. You don’t need to bring anything but, well if you feel the need, bring dessert? Bring candy? What does he like? You should know this…” Natasha said trying to help him think.

“Last I knew in the 40’s he liked girls.” Steve said with a humorless laugh. “I don’t know… um… we didn’t have a lot of money for desserts so I’m not really sure what he likes there, he liked to dance but I can’t dance to save my life so I’m not bringing music, um… bourbon… he did like his bourbon.” He said and then jumped off the couch. “I got it! Nat, you’re amazing! I owe you!” He said excitedly as he ran to grab his wallet.

“I will collect, Rogers. Talk to you later.” Natasha said through soft laughter and hung up.

Steve stared at his phone for a moment. “Probably shouldn’t have said I owed her.” He mumbled to himself before taking off.

Forty minutes later, he was back with a bottle of Bucky’s favorite bourbon. He was grateful they still made it. He checked himself over in the mirror one more time and hoped that the dark red Henley, gray pants and a black leather belt he was wearing was good enough because there was no longer time to change.

After quickly fixing his hair, Steve made his way to Bucky’s apartment, which was a floor down from his own and knocked on the door with the bottle behind his back. ‘It’s just Bucky!’ He thought to himself as he tried to get himself to calm down, but he knew that wasn’t true. Bucky was everything to him, which made it so much more important to him that they work.

Bucky opened the door wearing gray t-shirt and dark jeans. “Look at you, you dressed nice for me.” He smiled and Steve’s heart skipped a beat at the way that smile lit up his whole face. “You’re a little early...” He said as he held up his metal arm and wiggled the fingers. He hadn’t had time to put the sleeve on yet.

Steve shrugged as he smiled. “You look good either way, Buck.” He said and then grinned rather impishly. “I brought you flowers.”

Bucky’s eyes went wide. “You what? Do I gotta kill you on our second date? I was hoping we’d at least make it a month before I had to do that.” He said with a playful glare.

Steve laughed. “Sorry, I had to see your reaction.” He chuckled as he pulled the bottle of bourbon out from behind his back. The label said ‘Four Roses’. “See? Flowers.” He smirked.

“You fuckin’ little shit! I can’t believe you.” Bucky laughed as he took the bottle. “Oh my god…  they still make this?!” He said and the smile softened as he looked up into Steve’s eyes. “You remembered.”

“How could I forget?” Steve said as he smiled warmly at Bucky.

“What the hell am I doin’? Come in! Come in…” Bucky laughed as he ushered Steve into his apartment. Bucky’s apartment had been so important to his healing process. Everything in there was Bucky’s choice and Steve had to admit the place looked great. The couch was huge and plush; done in dark gray with blue accents. Even though the colors were on the cool side, it still felt warm and inviting. “I swear, ever since we actually started dating, things have just been so… awkward. Which is crazy, right? I mean we’re still best pals underneath it all. I just… I’m so fuckin’ nervous around you now.” He said as he took the bottle of bourbon to the kitchen.

Steve smiled and sat down on the couch. Leave it to Bucky to lay everything out in the open between them. He was more than grateful for it because he wasn’t sure he had the courage to voice his anxieties. “I think I changed my clothes today about ten times because I … hell I don’t even know why. And I called Natasha because I wouldn’t let myself show up without anything to offer. I actually nearly bought you flowers, but Nat helped me come up with the bourbon idea...” He rambled nervously.  
  
Bucky walked over to Steve and sat down beside him on the couch. He slid his hand to the back of Steve’s neck and pulled him in for a soft kiss, relishing in the fact that he could do that now. “You didn’t have to bring anything… but, I know you, your ma raised you better than that.” He chuckled softly. “It was sweet, thank you.” He smiled as he looked into Steve’s eyes.

Steve leaned in and kissed Bucky once again, his lips caressing Bucky’s soft lips that were always dark pink due to his tendency to bite them. He deepened the kiss slightly as Bucky scooted closer to him, and let his tongue slide past Bucky’s lips. He was rewarded with a deep moan from within Bucky’s chest and only sought to deepen the kiss further still. He would have succeeded if it had not been for the timer on the oven. It was only then he realized the amazing smells coming from the kitchen. “You cooked?” He asked with wide eyes, perhaps looking just a bit too shocked.

Bucky laughed. “Is it that shocking that maybe I’ve been taking a few cooking lessons from Sam, and the internet?”

“No, I mean, you’ve never been interested in it before…” Steve said smiling serenely at Bucky as he watched him get the roasted chicken out of the oven that looked too amazing for words.

“Before, I was working 2 or 3 jobs at a time and by the time I got home I was too tired to think about anything except shoveling food in my mouth and hittin’ the sack.” Bucky pointed out. “Now… I get to do stuff… it’s good. And don’t start… I know you. Don’t start feelin’ guilty for that. It was just what we had to do to get by. Times were tough for everyone.”

“God, you really do know me, Buck.” Steve chuckled and blushed softly. “Can’t help feelin’ guilty over that sometimes.”

“You took care of me though. What would I have done without you cooking me breakfast every mornin’ and dinner every night? You always made sure I had somethin’ to take with me to so that I wouldn’t starve at work. No wife coulda done better and you were prettier anyway.” Bucky chuckled and looked over at Steve with a playful wink.

Steve laughed at that. “You’re still a jerk, ya know that?”

“You’re still a punk but ya don’t see me complainin’.” Bucky smiled as he worked on the mashed potatoes he’d made. His heart was racing as he hoped that Steve would like everything.

Steve chuckled softly and got up off the couch. “Need help with anything?” He asked.

“Nah, I got this, babydoll.” Bucky said and smiled warmly at Steve.

“You realize that when the others hear you call me that, they’re never gonna let me live it down.” Steve laughed softly but the truth was he felt a warm thrill inside when he heard Bucky call him that.

“Next mission, I’m sayin’ it over the coms.” Bucky threatened.

“Bucky!” Steve laughed and walked into the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around Bucky from behind and kissed his neck softly. He couldn’t help the smile when he felt Bucky’s quick intake of breath and the soft moan that followed. “Actually, I kinda like it when you call me that.” He admitted as he nuzzled Bucky’s neck.

“Yeah?” Bucky asked, sounding hopeful as he tilted his head to the side to give Steve more access.

“Yep, I do, darlin’.” Steve said softly as he kissed his way up to Bucky’s ear and nipped his earlobe softly.

“Darlin’ huh? I think … mmm… I… I think I could get used to that.” Bucky said sounding a little breathless. “Jesus, punk, where’d you learn this stuff?” He groaned softly.

“What? You’ve done much worse than this with dames on the dance floor. Where’d you think I learned it?” Steve chuckled against his ear. “Where I learned everything, by watchin’ you.”

“Guess I set a good example for ya, huh?” Bucky groaned and smiled as he felt Steve’s body press in close to his back, so close he could feel Steve’s steady heartbeat.

“Yeah, you did… still do, Buck.” Steve smiled and pressed one more kiss to Bucky’s neck. “But we’re never gonna eat if I keep distracting you, and I’m starving.” He chuckled as he backed up and headed to the table.  
  
“You’re always starving, even before the serum, people wouldn’t believe it took a truck load of food to feed that little body you had.” Bucky laughed.

“My metabolism was the one thing that worked, and too well.” Steve chuckled. “Guess that hasn’t changed.”

“No, but practically everything else has. Sometimes, I just sit and think of how we got here...” Bucky said softly. “Everything we both went through, and don’t start about how I had it worse. We both had it rough. We both had shit that was straight out of a pulp novel happen to both of us.”

“Yeah, we really have been through the wringer…” Steve admitted softly as he watched Bucky bring the food to the table. Everything looked amazing and he felt a swell of pride at how far Bucky had come since he came home.

“That’s the thing, we have… both of us have been through more shit than 100 people should have to go through in 10 lifetimes, but the thing is we’re here. We’re together and I never dreamed of a day where we could be like this, where you’d have your arms around me, neckin’ in the kitchen while I cooked dinner. Okay, maybe I did dream of it once or twice but, dreaming and having it real…” Bucky trailed off as he sat down across from Steve.

“Never believed this could happen either, first few years after I woke up… I thought you were gone but here you are, like a miracle. And all you’ve gone through yet you’re still the strongest guy I ever knew…” Steve said showing just how much he cared about Bucky as he spoke.

“Ya see that’s the thing. I gotta keep going. I gotta keep finding things I like, what makes me happy because every day I find something, I get another piece of myself back and it’s another big ‘fuck you’ to HYDRA, to Zola, and everyone that had a part in making me what I was. Everyday I’m on the field for the good guys, every time I hear new music, see a movie, or read a book I love, I’m beating their asses into the ground that much further. And the day I got the courage to sit at that table with you when I knew we’d been set up, well… I think that’s the moment I realized I’d won my fight against every one of those bastards.” Bucky said and he knew he’d started to ramble but what he said was the truth. Through all the therapy sessions with the S.H.I.E.L.D. appointed psychiatrist and the V.A. meetings he went to with Sam, which in his opinion helped a lot more than the psychiatrist, he had begun to rebuild his life and as he did he learned ways to cope with what had been done to him. He would never be free of it, but he was learning to make peace with it and move on. Being with Steve and having the courage to ask him out on this second date was a big step forward for Bucky.

Steve looked at Bucky with so much pride and adoration in his eyes. He smiled softly looking a bit love struck as he stared at Bucky instead of digging into the food.

Bucky noticed Steve staring and actually started to blush. “What? I got somethin’ in my teeth or what?” He asked as he bit his lip nervously.

Steve laughed softly. “No, no, you’re perfect.” He said with such affection in his voice. “And adorable when you ramble on nervously.” He added with a hint of teasing in his voice.

“Hey, it was important stuff…” Bucky shrugged and blushed just a bit more as he looked up at Steve seeing all the love in his eyes. It was almost more than Bucky could take and he could barely believe it was all directed at him.

“You’re right, it’s very important, and amazing, and reminded me just exactly why I stayed at that table that night, and it also reminded me what I said to myself that night after I called you.” Steve said and reached across the table to take Bucky’s flesh hand. “I love you, Bucky.” He said as he squeezed Bucky’s hand and looked into his eyes to show Bucky just how much he meant those words.

“S…Stevie?” Bucky said in absolute shock as he stared back into Steve’s eyes. He thought Steve would take convincing that this could work. He thought Steve would need time and an adjustment period but this, this he never expected.

Steve chuckled to himself and shrugged slightly. “I know it’s only our second date but… when have you ever known me to hold back? If I feel it, I say it, and… actually I could have said it that night and it’d be just as true as it is today.”

Bucky stood up and knelt beside Steve to pull him into a deep kiss, letting the kiss say everything he couldn’t at the moment. Finally, after a few moments he pulled back and looked into Steve’s sky blue eyes that were sparkling with love and affection. “I’ve loved you since you were sixteen years old, and I’m never gonna stop loving you, Stevie.” His words were firm and full of conviction as he slid his hand up to cup Steve’s cheek. “Now are we gonna eat this dinner I slaved away over all day?” He asked with a playful smirk. He needed to get some breathing space from Steve before he was overwhelmed with how strongly he felt for the other man.

Steve couldn’t help but laugh at such a conversation shift. “Yeah, right, food…” He chuckled and dug right in. “Wow… Sam and the internet are amazing teachers… I remember when you nearly set the kitchen on fire trying to boil water.”  
  
“One time!” Bucky laughed as he sat back down and dug into his food. “One time, I accidently caught a dish towel on fire and I’ll never hear the end of it. Sure we ain’t already married, Stevie? With the way you nag...” He teased playfully and loved that even with the added love and all the feelings that love brought, they could still be this; teasing each other over things that happened more than 70 years ago.

“That nearly caught the curtains on fire, and those were my mother’s curtains…” Steve chuckled and blushed slightly at the idea of them being married.

“I am a glutton for punishment with you, Rogers. You’ve never let me forget a damn thing I’ve done in my whole life; with that crazy memory you have.” Bucky grumbled affectionately as he looked over at Steve.

“Yeah well, too late, you said you love me, can’t take it back now.” Steve chuckled and winked playfully at Bucky.

“Wouldn’t if I could.” Bucky smiled warmly, hoping Steve could see the love he felt through his eyes the way he could see Steve’s love for him.

_________________________________________

After dinner, Steve insisted on cleaning up since Bucky cooked. They then cuddled together on the couch and watched The Princess Bride at Natasha’s recommendation. By the end of the movie they were wrapped in each other’s arms, quoting their favorite lines.

“Wow, is it really past midnight?” Steve mumbled once the movie was over. Bucky was leaning against his side and Steve had him wrapped up tight in his arms. He loved the way Bucky seemed to fit perfectly against him.

“Guess it is… doesn’t seem that late.” Bucky said and realized Steve would be leaving soon. His heart ached at the idea. “Suppose you gotta get up early tomorrow, huh?” He asked as he looked up at Steve and subtly snuggled in just a bit closer.    
  
“Got a meeting at 8 with Director Coulson which, I’m still trying to get used to him being alive again, let alone the director of S.H.I.E.L.D.” Steve chuckled and slowly detangled himself from Bucky even though he hated letting him go. “I gotta head out, darlin’.” He said and even his voice showed how reluctant he was to leave.

Bucky nodded and walked Steve to the door. “Next time we have a date, no early morning meetings.” He said as he fisted his hands in Steve’s shirt to pull him down for a long, slow kiss that made his knees weak. By the end of it, he was ready to beg Steve to stay the night but deep down he knew it was too early in their new relationship for that. He really wanted to do right by Steve.

Steve chuckled softly after the kiss and pulled Bucky back for another slow, sweet kiss that made his pulse speed up as his lips chased after Bucky’s soft, plush lips. He held Bucky tight against his body as his hands caressed over Bucky’s strong back.  “I promise no early morning meetings next time.” He said as he pulled back to caressed Bucky’s cheek. “Call you tomorrow?”

“You better.” Bucky smiled and pecked one more soft kiss to Steve’s sweet lips. “Good night… love you, punk.” He said as he gently pushed Steve toward the door, knowing if he didn’t he might hold on and not let him go.

Steve smiled warmly and opened the door. “G’night, jerk, I love you too…” He said in an amused tone and leaned in for one more kiss, unable to keep from tasting Bucky’s lips just once more. He finally turned to leave and got on the elevator to go up to his apartment. After spending the entire evening with Bucky, he knew his place would feel a lot colder and lonelier without him there.


	2. Nightmares and Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky has a nightmare, Bucky and Steve have an important talk, and Deadpool has the worst timing in history.

Bucky’s eyes flew open as he sat up and clutched his chest. The dream had been so real but most of his dreams these days were like that. This one, though, had him shaking. He could almost feel his metal fingers crushing Steve’s throat from the dream. In it he had been activated somehow as the Winter Soldier and went after Steve. Never in these dreams could he see the face of the person who triggers him, he only ever sees Steve in full lifelike detail. This was a common dream he had in the beginning of his recovery that often led him to spend days trying to avoid Steve, but as he had recovered he stopped having this particular dream, until this moment.

Usually his first instinct would be to get as far away as possible, but now after his months of recovery, all he wanted to do was find Steve, just to see for himself that he was alright. The only problem was that it was three o’clock in the morning and he was sure Steve was in his apartment sound asleep. Bucky knew there was no rest for him unless he could see Steve, and to be perfectly honest, he didn’t want to be alone. After fighting with himself for a good ten minutes he finally got out of bed and slid a pair of sweats on. He grabbed a t-shirt and shuffled out of his apartment and to the elevator, but once there he fought with himself again as to whether to make the trek up to Steve’s apartment or to head down to the common floor and try to amuse himself until everyone was awake.

“Trouble sleeping, Sargent Barnes? Your heartrate is elevated and you are giving signs of distress… should I contact Captain Rogers?” Friday’s voice broke the silence of the night. She even spoke in a lower volume so she wouldn’t startle Bucky.

“No, no, I’m alright I’m just…” Bucky cursed and ran a hand through his hair as he tried to figure out what to do. “I don’t wanna bother him but … I had a nightmare.” He admitted and then chuckled.  “All this over a stupid nightmare.” He sighed, berating himself.

“Having all the records of your history with HYDRA it is expected that you would have nightmares that would surpass what would be considered typical. Therefore it is understandable that you would need to seek comfort afterwards. I am sure Captain Rogers would expect this. Of course, this is based off my limited observation of human behavior.” Friday stated.

Bucky smiled. “Well… you’re not wrong.” He said feeling comforted by her voice. “Um, take me up to Steve’s floor?”

“Of course, Sargent Barnes.” Friday replied and the elevator made the quick trip up one floor. Bucky could have taken the stairs but he wasn’t entirely sure he could force himself to go all the way up to Steve’s floor without changing his mind.  The doors opened and it took a minute before Bucky left the elevator.

“What am I doin’, this is silly.” He sighed and almost turned around but the elevator doors closed and he could hear the elevator moving. He half wondered if Friday did it on purpose so he would just go to Steve.

It was a short walk down the hallway to Steve’s door and he stopped in front of it. He even thought about just sitting down and trying to sleep right there in the hallway but he’d stopped behavior like that months ago and didn’t want to regress.  He was about to turn and go when Steve opened the door, looking like he’d just woke up. Bucky couldn’t help but smile at how adorable Steve was with his hair sticking up in every direction.

“Friday told me.” Steve said with a warm look in his eyes. “Said I’d better come to the door before you head for the stairs.” And with that Steve took Bucky’s hand and pulled him inside. “Wanna talk about it?” He asked. Normally they’d head to the kitchen for a snack or something to drink but this time Steve pulled Bucky right into his arms and held him comfortingly.

Bucky’s eyes went a little wide but he just hugged Steve back. “Not really, but you’re probably gonna drag it out of me anyway.” He chuckled and that was when he noticed his eyes were wet. “It was a bad one… I… I haven’t had a nightmare like this since… fuck… it’s been months…” His voice was trembling, just being held by Steve like this felt like it was crumbling all the walls he had built up around his emotions.

“It’s not a setback.” Steve said firmly and turned to kiss the side of Bucky’s head. “You’re still doing amazing, Bucky. A nightmare from time to time is expected. I get them more often that I like to admit.”

Bucky nodded and his heart swelled. Steve knew what he needed to hear somehow, that this wasn’t him falling back into old habits. It was just a bad dream and that he wasn’t alone. “Had this dream before, it’s so fuckin real… I can never see the face of the person who triggers me, but somehow the words work and I start killin’ you, and it’s so fuckin real and I hate it. I fuckin hate it, Stevie.” By this point Bucky lost his battle with his tears and felt them streaming down his face as he buried his head in Steve’s neck.

“I know… I know it was scary and I know you would NEVER do anything like that, even before, you saved me when I fell from the helicarrier, and I will remind you that you did that every single day if it’ll help.” Steve’s voice was soft and soothing as he slid his hands over Bucky’s back, trying to soothe him.

“God, I love you, Stevie…” Bucky said in a rush as he felt the tension begin to leave his body.  He pulled back just enough to look into Steve’s eyes, they were still slightly red from sleep but the way Steve looked at him was with such love. He was warmed from sleep and felt so good against Bucky’s body that he couldn’t help but lean in for a kiss.

Steve smiled at the touch of Bucky’s lips to his own and held Bucky even tighter as he fell into the kiss, keeping it soft and gentle. “Mmm, I love you too, Buck.” He mumbled softly against Bucky’s lips. “And I need you to know, day or night, no matter what, you can always come to me for anything. “ He said as he pulled back to look into Bucky’s eyes.

“Yeah, I mean I know that but… I didn’t want to wake you up. No point in neither of us getting sleep tonight.” Bucky said and bit his lip.

“You’re not even going to try to go back to sleep are you?” Steve asked with worry lining his forehead.

“After that nightmare? I think I’m done with sleep for the night.” Bucky huffed. “But I will go so you can get back to it.” He slowly let Steve go and started for the door.

“Wait…” Steve said and gently grabbed Bucky’s wrist. “Wait… um… do you think you’d sleep better here?”

“Stevie, you’re real sweet but your spare room just reminds me of being injured.” Bucky chuckled softly. “I’ll be alright, it’s just one night.”

“No, I didn’t mean the spare room, I meant with me …. I mean, beside me … I mean … In my bed but um … just sleeping.” By the time Steve was done trying to explain his words he was blushing bright red.

Bucky did everything he could not to laugh but he still couldn’t help but chuckle slightly. “You are god damn adorable, you know that?” He smiled and honestly he didn’t think he’d be capable of smiling for a while after that awful nightmare.

Steve rolled his eyes and huffed. “Are you coming to bed or are you just gonna stand there picking on me all night?” He grumbled though there was amusement in his eyes.

“Not pickin, babydoll, just an observation. Seriously, fuckin adorable.” Bucky smiled and kissed Steve softly. “You really wanna put up with me for the night?” He asked now looking a bit nervous. The dream seemed so real and he wasn’t sure if he was moving in his sleep during it. His stomach lurched at the idea of waking up with his metal hand wrapped around Steve’s neck.

“Yes, I want you to rest and I want you to feel safe. Come on.” Steve smiled as he took Bucky’s hand in his and lead him to the bedroom.

Bucky automatically took the side of the bed closest to the window and knew somewhere in the back of his mind that it was a force of habit to protect Steve. He saw Steve’s lips quirk up into a small smile that was full of warmth and couldn’t help but shrug. “Old habits die hard I guess…” He mumbled as he got into bed.

Steve chuckled softly. “I guess they do.” He said as he slipped under the covers and faced Bucky. “You remember the last time we slept side by side like this?” He asked curiously.

“Yeah, the night before the whole train disaster… it was cold as hell on that mountain side and I was freezing. Kept telling you I was fine and to go to sleep but you wouldn’t hear it … made me sleep up against you that night since you were, and still are, a human furnace.”  Bucky chuckled and then sighed. “I almost forgot we were up on a mountainside waiting to zip line onto a Hydra train. Felt more like we were back in Brooklyn huddled up for heat when the damn radiator wasn’t working, which… let’s face it, that hunk of scrap never worked.” He rolled onto his back and smiled wistfully. “It was a good night, despite what happened the next day. I almost told you how I felt that night, that I was head over heels for ya and it started way before you got the serum, but I’m real glad I didn’t. I wouldn’t want whatever happened to be the memory we both carry with us, good or bad, it’d have been worse on both of us I think.”

Steve listened to Bucky reminisce and gazed at him in wonder. “You really do remember everything now, don’t you?” He asked softly and saw Bucky nod even though it was quite dark in the room. “I don’t even remember that night. I… I think I blocked it out. It was just too painful to think about after I woke up and still thought you were dead. I think that night… well a lot of nights leading up to that night but, I think I finally accepted what you meant to me, but I’m glad we waited to talk about this, and to act on it. It almost feels like this era was made for us. Everyone’s so much more accepting, there’s no danger of being thrown in jail or god knows what else. We’re free.” Steve took Bucky’s right hand in his but Bucky was the one to pull Steve’s hand over his chest right above his heart.

Bucky smiled in the darkness. “I like that. This era was made for us.” He whispered and turned his head to face Steve. “We are a hell of a lot freer than we’ve ever been.” He admitted as he held Steve’s hand to his heart, the warmth from his hand calming him.

Steve scooted closer to Bucky and smiled when Bucky lifted his arm, inviting Steve to lay his head on Bucky’s chest. He did and hummed in contentment at how comfortable it felt.  “Mmmhmm, we are.” Steve mumbled sounding sleepy. He nuzzled his head into Bucky’s chest and heard the soft rumble of Bucky chuckling. “What? Just getting comfortable…”

“You’re like a cat, like I said before, fuckin’ adorable.” Bucky laughed as his fingers found their way into Steve’s hair, stroking the soft, short strands as if he were petting a cat.

Steve closed his eyes and sighed as he fought to keep from laughing. “Such a jerk, why do I put up with you?” He teased as he cuddled just a little closer.

“I have no idea, punk, but you put up with me, and I’m the luckiest guy that ever lived ‘cause of it.”  Bucky smiled as he pulled Steve that much closer and closed his eyes.

“Sap.” Steve mumbled half asleep.

“Punk.”

“Jerk.”

“You love me, Stevie.”

“Yeah, I do.” And with that Steve fell asleep in Bucky’s arms with his head resting comfortably on Bucky’s chest.

_____________________________________________

The next morning Steve woke first and found that neither he nor Bucky had moved at all in their sleep. He still had his head on Bucky’s chest and could hear the slow beat of Bucky’s heart as he rested. He couldn’t help the soft smile that spread across his lips, knowing that Bucky had rested peacefully all through the night.  Part of him didn’t want to move, in case he woke Bucky up, but he knew he couldn’t lay there forever. He was so lost in his thoughts he didn’t hear Bucky’s breathing change or his heartbeat speed up, indicating he was waking up.

“I can hear ya thinking from here, Stevie.” Bucky mumbled, still sounding half asleep.

“Sorry, Buck. Need to get up but I didn’t wanna wake you.” Steve said as he rose up on an elbow so he could see Bucky’s face.

“It’s alright, was waking up anyway. What time is it?” Bucky asked as he stretched for a moment then relaxed and looked up into Steve’s amazing blue eyes. He knew in that moment he could wake up every morning for the rest of his life like this and be happy.

“A little after ten. We slept in.” Steve smiled as he brought his other hand up to cup Bucky’s cheek. “I’d kiss you but I should probably go brush my teeth first.” He smirked.

“You think I’m gonna let that stop you?” Bucky smirked and leaned up to kiss Steve softly. He soon pulled back and crinkled his nose. “Seriously, what did you eat last night?” He chuckled, and then made an ‘oomph’ noise as Steve pushed off of Bucky, playfully pushing him into the mattress as he did.

“You’re an ass.” Steve grumbled in amusement as he got up and made his way toward the bathroom.

“You love my ass…” Bucky called to him as he sat up on the edge of the bed and ran a hand through his hair which was getting long once again. He followed Steve to the bathroom and smiled as he leaned in the doorway and watched him brush his teeth. This took him back to before the war, to Brooklyn when they were both getting ready for work in the morning. Bucky would rush off down to the docks and Steve would head to a small grocery store just down the street where he worked as a clerk and made the signs for all the sales.

Steve smirked after he rinsed. “Maybe I do?” He teased and turned to kiss Bucky softly. “Better?” He mumbled against his lips.  
  
“Mmm yeah, only one problem, don’t wanna stop kissin’ ya now.” Bucky mumbled against Steve’s lips as he grabbed Steve’s t-shirt in both hands and pulled him closer.

Steve laughed softly against Bucky’s lips and pulled back. “Well you have to… your turn.” He smirked pushing Bucky into the bathroom. “New toothbrush in the medicine cabinet.” He informed.

“Oh really?” Bucky asked with a raised eyebrow. “And just who have you been stashing unopened toothbrushes for huh? Should I be jealous?” He teased and started to brush his teeth. His heart warmed when Steve leaned against the doorframe just like he had before.

Steve chuckled softly. “No… really Buck, no one to be jealous over.  I just kept them in case I had a guest. Get your mind outta the gutter.” He said with a hint of amusement.

“Wait… come on…” Bucky started as he paused brushing his teeth. “Okay, before the war, I know you were striking out with the dames… Natalia’s not here, I can say it, dames …. anyway, then there was Carter, and I know you kissed her…”

“She kissed me…” Steve reminded Bucky sounding slightly exasperated.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Bucky chuckled and then sighed as he looked at Steve seriously. “I know you loved her. She was one hell of a dame and I was jealous as hell over her but I knew she’d be good to ya. I always thought that if I didn’t make it outta that war that at least you’d have her cause god knows you need someone to take care of you, whether you’re 95 pounds soakin’ wet or if you’re a freakin’ Greek god.” He chuckled humorlessly as he rinsed his toothbrush and put it in the holder beside Steve’s. It felt very domestic to do that.

“Thanks, Buck, your faith in me is so moving.” Steve deadpanned as he raised an eyebrow at Bucky.

“You know what I mean, when you weren’t sick I was pullin’ you out of fights left and right, and when I wasn’t pullin’ you out of fights I was reminding you to eat when you got lost in a sketch, or telling you to go draw something when you were ticked off about something which was pretty much all the time. Seriously, you need someone lookin’ after ya, and that ain’t a bad thing. I kinda need that too, ya know.” Bucky explained. “I’m just sayin’ Carter woulda been good at it. I could’ve trusted her with you.”

Steve smiled at Bucky’s explanation. “Ya know, I did love her. And I thought about after the war, if I’d ask her to marry me, but I’m not sure I would have. I mean, I was just figuring out how I felt about you and then everything happened and there really was no ‘after the war’ for either of us.” He sighed.

Bucky walked over and put both arms around Steve. “We got it now; I guess that’s what counts right?” He smiled softly.

“Yeah, it is.” Steve smiled and leaned in to kiss Bucky, this time a little more passionately than earlier.

“Mmm, fuck I could get used to this.” Bucky whispered against Steve’s lips. “Last night was probably the best sleep I’ve got since … fuck, I don’t know when. But it felt good, lyin’ next to you. Having you here… felt safe.” He said and his cheeks pinked just slightly from admitting that.

Steve’s eyes filled with adoration as he gazed into Bucky’s eyes. “It felt good having you next to me. I think I slept better last night than I have since before the war.” He admitted and pulled Bucky just a little closer.

“You are… really distracting me from the point I was tryin’ to make before.” Bucky chuckled and got out of Steve’s arms as he headed to the kitchen.

Steve chuckled as he followed Bucky. “And the point you were trying to make is?” He asked curiously as he went to start the coffee.

“So, nothing happened with Carter, as you said, but there had to be someone else, what about all those dames on the USO tour? You never even talked about it!” Bucky said as he went to the fridge to grab the eggs and bacon.

“Well, there wasn’t anything to talk about?” Steve said more like he was asking a question than stating a fact.  “I was still learning this new body and trying to remember to duck when I didn’t need to before. I was figuring out my own strength so I didn’t crush anyone when I hugged them or even shook their hand. It was a lot to get used to. That and… well…” He trailed off as he grabbed two mugs from the cabinet.

“What?” Bucky asked as he turned his full attention to Steve.

“They were only interested in Captain America. They didn’t know me before. It was just the image and the new body they liked. Not me. I loved Peggy because she knew me before and liked me then. That meant the world to me.”  Steve said as he poured them each a cup of coffee just the way they both liked it. His eyes turned dark as he stared at the cup in his hands. “Then I took an ice nap for 70 years and NO ONE knew Steve Rogers anymore. All anyone cared about after I woke up was Captain America. For all intents and purposes, Steve Rogers was dead… at least until you showed up. Kinda hard to start a relationship in that kind of headspace.” He mumbled the last part and sipped his coffee as Bucky cooked breakfast. “I mean, the other Avengers, they tried, they still try, but sometimes I don’t even think they realize there was a person here before Captain America.”

Bucky listened as Steve got it all out and realized something. “You fought so hard to get me back because I was all you had left of that little punk from Brooklyn.” He stated, with no judgment.

“It was part of it, a big part.” Steve admitted. “But also because I knew what it was like to lose yourself, not as drastically as what Hydra did to you but… I couldn’t let you live like that when I could remind you who you used to be. And I love you, so… I had a lot of reasons.”

Bucky smiled softly as he looked over at Steve. “Yeah, I guess you did.” He said, his eyes showing everything he felt for Steve in that moment. He finally broke his gaze and grabbed a couple of plates for their breakfast and loaded them up.  They were both quiet for a while as they sat and ate, but then Bucky smirked softly. “So… what you’re tellin’ me without tellin’ me is, Steve Rogers is a virgin.” He said as he looked up at Steve.

“THAT’S WHAT YOU TOOK FROM THAT?” Steve screeched with wide eyes and nearly choked on his eggs. His cheeks were crimson by this point.

Bucky couldn’t help but crack up laughing at the indignant look on Steve’s face and how red he’d turned. “Oh shit! Steve you should see your face!” He said breathlessly, and was actually giggling by this point. “Sorry, but… that was what I was fishin’ for! I needed to know! I am … well I guess I’m your boyfriend now, I mean… we’ve said that we love each other and we meant it, so I guess that’s what we are?”

Steve sighed and actually laughed softly. “Yeah, I think we can make that official now, though I think best guy has a better ring to it than boyfriend.” He chuckled.

“Best guy sounds infinitely better.” Bucky chuckled. “So, you’re my best guy, I need to know these things, ya know?”  He said and shrugged.

“I guess you’re right, so… um… have you ever? I mean I know you have with dames, but, with a guy?” Steve asked curiously.

“Just twice. Once back in the war, and then with a guy Natalia set me up with.  He was that guy that was formerly SHIELD but turned CIA. I liked him at first but then I realized he was way too into his gun collection. I mean you know me, coming from me that says a LOT.” Bucky chuckled and wrinkled his nose slightly as he thought about that guy.

“I remember him.” Steve grumbled and then looked up at Bucky. “Really? With him?” He asked making a pained face at that.

“Steven, are you jealous?” Bucky asked with a knowing smirk as he saw his best guy’s eyes turn a little green.

“I am not jealous! It’s just you could have done so much better ….” Steve started.

“Like ‘Captain America’ better?” Bucky asked with a wicked gleam in his eyes.

“I am breaking up with you.” Steve deadpanned and rolled his eyes as he got up to get more coffee.

“Aww, come on babydoll, don’t be like that.” Bucky chuckled seeing how red Steve was getting.  “Alright, alright I’ll quit, even though you’re fucking adorable when you blush like that.”

Steve tilted his head up with a pained expression on his face as if asking a higher power for patience.  “I love you, Bucky, even though you make me wish alcohol still had any kind of effect on me.”

“Wow, that might be the most romantic thing you ever said to me, Stevie.” Bucky deadpanned and caused Steve to glare at him like he was going to smack him. “Anyway, back to the subject. I feel like things are getting pretty serious with us and we, well we need to talk about sex.”  He started and saw Steve’s cheeks heat up once again.  “And as adorable as your blushing is, I promise to stop callin’ you on it … for now.” He smirked.

“Thanks… I think.” Steve said as he sat back down. “What’s to talk about?” He asked as he half hid behind his cup of coffee.

“Well for one, is it something you’ve been thinking about?” Bucky asked trying very hard to keep this as nonchalant as possible even though he knew this was going to be a difficult conversation for Steve since he was so shy about this subject.

“Really? You gotta start with that?” Steve practically whined as he slumped a little further in his chair.

Bucky wanted to laugh so much but he held back. “Stevie, come on, we gotta talk about this.  It’s just you and me, no one else…  we’ve always been able to talk to each other about anything.”

“I know, I know…” Steve said and then sighed half in frustration with himself Bucky was right, they always could talk to each other about anything. “I’ve never been good with feelings and stuff, you know that.  Guess I always thought sex would be something that just sorta… happened. No planning, no discussions, but, I don’t know, maybe I’ve seen too many movies?” He chuckled and raked a hand through his hair. “Is it something I want with you? Yes. Am I ready? Probably, under the right circumstances. Like I told you before Buck, I’m in this. I love you and I am VERY attracted to you. So…” Steve trailed off and felt his face burning from his words, but he also felt a weight lift from his shoulders as he got his feelings out.

“Very huh?” Bucky smirked devilishly as he gazed at Steve.

“Why did I know that would be the one thing you heard out of all that?” Steve sighed and then chuckled. “Yes, Bucky, I am very attracted to you.” He repeated in a playful tone but then finally looked into Bucky’s eyes and got serious once again. “You’re the most handsome fella I ever laid eyes on and more beautiful than any dame.”

The utter sincerity in Steve’s voice as he spoke nearly blew Bucky away. “So that’s what’s been rattlin’ around in that head of yours huh, punk?” He asked, trying to lighten the words but there was no hiding the blush on his cheeks.

Steve decided not to point out Bucky’s blush and just smiled. “Yeah, that’s what’s been rattlin’ around my head. Thoughts of you…”

“Thoughts of me naked?” Bucky asked with a raised eyebrow as he got up and walked around the table. In a brave moment he straddled Steve’s lap and laid his arms over his shoulders.

Steve could only smile up at Bucky with his eyes sparkling. “Wouldn’t you like to know…” He smirked as he wrapped his arms around Bucky’s waist and pulled him closer. He couldn’t help but marvel at how right it felt to have Bucky that close.

“Ya know, that’s basically a yes, you have been thinking about me naked…” Bucky pointed out, trying to sound nonchalant but Steve cut him off with a searing kiss as he slid one hand up to cup Bucky’s cheek as he let his thumb trace Bucky’s cheekbone.

Bucky couldn’t help but moan softly as he felt Steve’s tongue tease his bottom lip, seeking entrance. He parted his lips and groaned as Steve pulled him flush against his body. His heart began to race as he wondered if this was really going to happen and it took a few moments for him to realize Steve’s hands were beginning to work their way up his shirt. Bucky’s hips jerked slightly as he felt Steve’s fingers brush over a hardening nipple. His eyebrows rose, impressed that Steve had it in him, especially when Steve pinched his nipple and rolled it gently. “Fuck…” Bucky hissed as he let his head fall back, breaking the kiss. “Didn’t even know I liked my nipples played with so damn much.” He groaned and felt Steve’s lips on his neck, then Steve’s teeth. “Jesus, where did you learn this… fuck…” He gasped as Steve licked over the flesh he just bit.

“Internet’s kinda great…” Steve murmured against Bucky’s skin then looked up at him with a smug grin.

Bucky broke into soft laughter and pulled his shirt off, needing nothing between Steve’s big hands and his nipples. “Hell yes it is, if it taught you all that.” He smirked but then gasped once again when Steve’s mouth covered the other nipple. He couldn’t help but grind against Steve at this point and he knew Steve could feel the effect he was having on Bucky. Bucky’s cock was nearly painfully hard by this point. “Either lose the shirt or I’m gonna tear it off.” He said breathlessly as he tugged at Steve’s shirt.

“Tear it off… I’m busy.” Steve mumbled against Bucky’s nipple before moving to the other one. He smirked when he got a full body shudder out of Bucky that time.

“You are such a fucking little shit, Rogers.” Bucky groaned and chuckled as he proceeded to rip the shirt right off of Steve. He tossed the scraps aside as he got both hands on Steve’s soft, firm skin. He felt Steve’s erection hard against his own and was dying to get his hands on it, or his mouth. “Fuck, you’re so goddamn gorgeous I don’t know where to touch you first…” He said as he slid his hands down Steve’s strong back then up over hard abs, touching everywhere he could reach and yet it still wasn’t enough.

Steve’s hands fell to Bucky’s waistband and tugged slightly, his fingers were so close to the head of Bucky’s cock that it was driving him insane. “Can I, Buck?” Steve asked as he looked up at Bucky with such adoration in his eyes that Bucky would have called him a sap in any other setting. At the moment it melted Bucky’s heart.

“Don’t even gotta ask, I want it… fuck... I want you so much, Stevie.” Bucky hissed in pleasure as he felt Steve tugging at the waist of his sweats. Just when Steve was about to slide his hand in, Friday’s voice filled the room.

“I do apologize, but Deadpool has arrived and said it was urgent that he speak to Captain Rogers.”

Bucky’s head dropped on Steve’s shoulder. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!” He growled. “Are we really sure he can’t be killed? Either way I think it’d be fun to try!” He said as he sat there stubbornly.

Steve sighed and kissed Bucky’s shoulder. “I know, believe me… I wouldn’t mind using him as target practice myself right now!” He said sounding more frustrated than Bucky had ever heard him. “But, he said it was urgent and he doesn’t usually ask for any of our help unless he really needs it.” He sighed and gently pushed Bucky off his lap.

“But… I mean… come on! I’ve waited for this for over 75 years! Maybe longer! I don’t even know anymore!” Bucky complained as he got up and threw his shirt back on.

“And I will be back right after I see what Deadpool wants. I promise.” Steve chuckled as he walked to his room and grabbed a shirt to put on.

“Your noble patience is kind of fucking annoying right now.” Bucky grumbled as he walked to the door and opened it. “The world better be endin’ right now.” He growled at Deadpool.

“Er… I take it I interrupted something? Does Friday have video surveillance?” Deadpool asked in a hopeful tone. He was dressed in his usual suit with his katanas strapped to his back.

“Swear to god I’m gonna stab you through your eye!” Bucky grouched.

“Bucky…” Steve said in warning though there was also amusement in his tone as he walked out of the bedroom with a fresh t-shirt.

“What? I can’t kill him! Besides, it’s good therapy! Like when my therapist told me to try the punching bag to get aggression out.” Bucky said only half joking. “You better come back right after this, whatever it is.” He said to Steve and pulled him in for a deep kiss. “I love you.” He mumbled against his lips.

“I love you, too” Steve said softly and kissed Bucky one more time.

“Keep him safe, whatever you’re doing. He comes back hurt, I’m gonna test how immortal you are, got it?” Bucky told Deadpool.

“Huh? What? Yeah sure, safe, no problem. Could you two kiss again? Seriously… hottest thing I ever saw in my life! I need to ingrain that in my brain for my spank bank!” Deadpool said and even through the mask he looked a bit star struck.

“Yeah, I’m not going anywhere with you until you get your head out of the gutter.” Steve said as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Okay, okay fine, don’t give me the disappointed look. Just… I need help. I found the base of operations for those whack jobs that fucked up my face. I’d like to take ‘em out before they do this to someone else, only it’s a little bit bigger job than I normally handle and the bastard has Vanessa.” Deadpool explained.

“Who’s Vanessa?” Bucky asked curiously.

“My girlfriend.”

“You have a girlfriend?” Steve asked sounding more surprised than he meant to.

Deadpool dropped his head back and sighed. “Yes, is it so hard to believe that?”

“You were together before the butterface, weren’t you?” Bucky asked with a smirk, feeling a little vindictive over being interrupted.

“You are an evil, evil man, Barnes. And it sucks that I find that hot as hell.” Deadpool complained. “So, ya gonna help me Cap?”

“Yeah, sure, but, why me?” Steve asked curiously as he grabbed his shield and started for the door.

“Because you’re Captain Fucking America and half the bastards that are working for this fucking psycho will probably piss their pants when they see you, or faint, or both. It’s strategic!” Deadpool said the last part as a whisper as if he was sharing a secret.

“Right.” Steve said in a way that showed he was questioning why he was even doing this. “Well let’s go then…” He grumbled as he pushed Deadpool out the door. “I’ll try to be back soon, Buck.” He promised Bucky as he headed off to suit up.

“You better, punk!” Bucky called to him as he watched Steve go.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't abandoned this. I've just been having trouble finding time to write lately. I've decided to change the format of this a bit and make this a multi-chapter slices-of-life story. Also, I will be going back through and editing When It's Time for some continuity errors I recently found. Thank you to everyone who's taken the time to read this! :)


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